04.58

I'm having the obligatory 4.27am life think. In bed, watching Katy Perry being annoying.

Although it's been so much fun, this year has (let's be honest) been a long concession of life fails. I can't decide what my favorite so far has been, allowing that it's only August 1st i'm sure i'll be graced with many more. Could it be quitting 4 jobs? Owning a gold car? Having a string of ridiculous romantic attachments? I'll let you be the judge.

So i've come to a cross roads. Do i finally decide to take charge of my life, or do i just fuck around until next September. Probably just fuck around till next September, the thought of actually having to take anything seriously scares/bores me to tears. Independence is so horribly over-rated, i wish more than anything that i was 12 again, eating everyone's sandwiches, destined to be forever virginal. 

50 cent just came on the TV. Is he not dead?

Procrastination has been a constant and valuable source of entertainment for me recently, so content with my own demented thoughts. My taxi driver this evening was actually humouring me as though i was just another stupid drunk twat inanely rambling. Hadn't had a single drink. I sometimes wonder whether this is what ACTUAL dementia is like, just sat here smiling to my self like a retarded cheshire cat thinking and speaking about nothing of any importance or worth, finding life hilarious. I hope so, i can't wait to be an old bed wetter. I'm not making funsies of dementia, that's a genuine statement. 

I had swine flu last week it was the worst experience of my life, however i am a survivor so i won't complain too much. I do love complaining though. Right now i can only explain my voice to be a hybrid between Pat Butcher circa '03 & Rolf Harris on some sort of drug. Laughing sounds like crying, breathing sounds like shouting, P's & T's sound the same, i'm in hell. Not atall helped by the age old foreign man argument. I think i probably go through this aleast once every 10 minutes at work, blankly ordering a 'BEEERE' or vodka (no mixer? nope?) then looking at me like I'M the retard after the pain staking 3 minute argument of the importance of ordering a real drink and not just non-descript liquid in a glass. 

Oh god, there's no one on facebook chat. My life's hit an absolute all time low. Do i go to sleep or do i go on neopets? probably neopets so i can incessantly send Lauren hillarious texts about 'chuffer bob the meerca' until she wakes up and comes to my room and slaps me. Sorry Lauren.